Getting Married, Pre-wedding Jitters
Planning on getting married? Congratulations! This is one of the most exciting times in a woman’s life. From the moment you say “Yes” you begin creating a string of excitement and energy around yourself and those around you.
Weddings bring with them good stresses and bad stresses. You can be excited to commit yourself to the person you love and be surrounded by your family and friends. But there are other aspects—staying within a budget, cooperating with your partner, deciding on venues and guest lists, trying to keep everyone happy, eating healthy, etc.—that can make brides feel confused, anxious, and depressed.
There may be days where you feel frustrated and are ready to pull your hair and scream, not knowing exactly why – sound familiar?
Did you know that your reality is created by your beliefs?
- The first step is becoming aware of what are your core beliefs about love and marriage.
- The second step is to make a conscious commitment to stay true to your-self, then others.
- The third step is to find a modality that works for you which is loving and safe.
Brides need help with anxiety and controlling tendencies so that they can fully embrace their “Big Day.” You need to know that although your wedding day is a once-in-a-lifetime event, perfection is not key. Mindfulness is. The key to having a great wedding is being fully present to enjoy the day – not being consumed by the little details that most people will overlook.
- Natural weight loss through controlling anxiety and tension, emphasizing a sound diet and exercise.
- Improve communication with their fiancees, family members and vendors during this stressful time
- Improve self-esteem and confidence; reinforce that they are loved and cherished (why else would they be getting married)
- Overcome fears and concerns about their relationship and how it will change upon marriage
Weddings can be stressful, stress leads to fighting, and fighting leads to doubts, fear, and worry. If this describes your relationship, rest assured that you are not alone. There are many couples who worry that fighting means they are not right for each other. Certainly, this is something to consider if the fights are about major issues such as children, religious beliefs, finances, and where to live.
Wedding jitters can easily be wiped away as long as you remember to keep your love and faith close to your heart. One word of advice…make sure the person you are marrying enhances who you are and that through this unity, you enhance each others’ lives.
Here are some tips for surviving your wedding planning:
- Talk with your partner about your doubts and fears. Make sure you iron out all your doubts now instead of waiting until after the marriage, hoping it will work itself out.
- Determine what it is you are really questioning—whether it’s the relationship itself or simply the daunting idea of marriage. If your answer is the latter, know that many couples go through the same fears –after all, you are about to take a huge step in your life.
- Ask yourself some questions about any changes that have taken place or that you have discovered since the engagement. Is your partner exhibiting a different behavior or engaging in activities you disapprove of? These are things that should be addressed before you proceed with the wedding plans.
- Look to or perhaps talk to couples who have survived and celebrated many years of marriage. They can be a good source of support and great role models.
- Set aside some time before the wedding to spend a romantic evening with your partner, away from all the wedding talk and plans.
- Consider going to a couple’s counselor to talk out your doubts. This step doesn’t mean your relationship is falling apart, and for many couples it can reaffirm their commitment to the relationship. You will find you can develop important communication skills that will help you as you begin your married life together. Most congregations or churches offer counseling sessions.
All brides need to appreciate their pre-wedding jitters, often called butterflies or cold feet. Instead of running away from your anxiety, you need to confront it and say what you are feeling out loud. Express it instead of suppressing it.
Finally, you need to surrender your emotions to the special day coming up. Know that things have a way of working themselves out. When things are natural, you will find the reason to smile and really have a good time without being forced. Look for ways to really pamper yourself and make sure that you are radiant on your special day. Put your focus on the love that you have for one another and magic will happen.
This unity is what the both of you gift to one another, lovingly.
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