We all need to do something we love, something that brings inner calm and nurtures our soul, something that allows us to embrace our bliss. The hardest part of it is, making the time to do it. I now realize how much I enjoy the word “embrace”. It is a word you can never use in a negative way. Embrace your family, friends. Embrace the struggle, pain and disappointments. Embrace your heritage and femininity. Embracing is something we need to do every day, and I don’t mean it for the sake of optimism. Embrace the times you feel upset. Don’t ever feel the need of flipping the mood around, rather, accept it. Accept who you are, accept where you are at. Embrace your body, your self – just as you are.
When you learn how to tap within, you manifest that which you desire much quicker. This info will change the course of your life.
All it takes is the courage to stand up and fight for what is in your heart, instead of letting life dictate to you that you will be what it wants you to be. There will always be things in our lives that we’ll have trouble letting go, but we must always remember that letting go doesn’t mean that our lives are over, letting go means that we can acquire new life, and that we are more ready than ever to conquer whatever may lay in our paths.
Though many of us are very ready to grow up, mature and do the things that we dream about, it is important to grasp the concept that not everyone around you will be ready to go along with the changes you feel that you must make in your life. Some will want to stir you away, some due to their own misgivings or fears, others who truly have your best interest at heart but live their own life with fear. Never let the people who aren’t ready for going the places that you are going stop you and eventually drag you back in a place they may want you to be happy.
I have compiled a list on “how to embrace and love yourself” for readers who are facing difficulty with knowing what to do in embracing themselves. Become aware that you need to love yourself first, prior to developing any meaningful relationships with others.
Loving yourself feels unnatural for a start because your mind has been ingrained with self sabotaging thoughts for the longest time or you have been told being selfish is a bad thing.
However, nothing is going to happen if you do not make a conscious decision. And that includes attracting abundance. Learning to embrace your life and love yourself starts with making a conscious decision, an intention to become happy and lead a fulfilled life.
“Love yourself first and everything falls into line.” Lucille Ball quotes
When you make a decision to love yourself, you are really saying that you want to come alive. You accept that you are responsible for the outcomes that you experience in your life and would like yourself to shine from living a fulfilling life.
So if you’ve decided on loving yourself but are as equally stumped on how to love yourself, here are some ways which I believe can be helpful:
1. Love Yourself more. Think about what makes you – You. Just like a flower that needs watering to grow, learn to nurture yourself in every way. Love yourself for all the good that you see and accept your flaws and the fact that you are imperfect. This does not mean that you do not learn to change from your shortcomings; instead, you are being gentle and kind to yourself despite all your “flaws”.
2. Eliminate Self Criticism. Do you often berate yourself over the tiniest thing? Is there a little voice inside your head that often tells you that you are no good because you are stupid or make mistakes? If you find that you often judge yourself, make an effort to stop the self criticism.
3. Be Kinder – Positive. When you start to think kindly and positively about yourself, the appreciation you have for yourself just grows. Make it a habit to praise yourself- at least once a day!
4. Acknowledge Your Effort. It is not always about winning or coming up tops in everything that you do. Many times, it is the effort that counts! Acknowledge that you have done your best, even if you have failed to produce tangible results.
5. Let Go Of Worry. Worry unrealistic negativity created by you, for you. Loving yourself requires you to let go of your worry. It is a horrible way to live a life filled with constant worrying. It does not help in any way. It cannot, on its own, make things happen. Change the word worry to having concern. Concern in more proactive. Spend time thinking about what you can do to help in the situation. If the situation is beyond your control, then surrender your outcome. Pray Up!
To Your Health,
Did you know colors evoke certain emotions? Have you noticed when you feel gloomy if you wear something brighter, you’ll feel a bit better and lights up your mood?
“He saw red.”
“I’m feeling blue.”
“She was green with envy.”
How often have you heard these expressions? They’re actually fairly common. And they’re a good illustration of how color relates to our emotions.
Actually, color evokes a physical effect on the human body. It can influence the pituitary gland, which helps regulate hormone production. Hormones can affect our moods, so it makes sense that color would, too. But it can also be used to change our moods. How can you use colors to change your mood? Well, clothing is the most obvious choice. What you wear not only helps you feel a certain way, but also can give a strong impression about you to others – especially people you’ve never met.
Below, we breakdown what each primary color makes you feel.
- Red: – Root – grounding. Associated with Love, Heat, evokes Anger, Intensity, Excitement. Red is used to increase circulation and stimulate the body and mind.
- Orange: – Sexuality – Energetic, Warm color, evokes Enthusiasm and Excitement. Orange is used to draw attention, as in traffic signs.
- Yellow: – Solar- Digestion. Cheery, Warm, Core, Nature; but evokes Frustration and Anger. Yellow increases metabolism. Highly visible, attention grabber.
- Green: – Heart – Emotions. Nature, Health, Healing, Good Luck, Tranquility, Jealousy; has been known to increase the ability to read, used in decorating to relieve stress and calm, color of fertility.
- Blue: Throat – Calm, Relaxed, Soothing; evokes Serenity, Sadness – Men Preferred, Research proven blue rooms make people more productive; least appetizing. Blue can ease the suffering of illness and pain, also lower the pulse and body temperature.
- Violet/Purple: – Third-eye. Symbol of Wealth and Royalty, Spirituality and Wisdom. Sometimes evokes: exotic, mysterious, above all.
- White: – Crown – Innocence, Spacious, Purity, Sterile, Focus, isolation
- Black may make some people think of depression, but it doesn’t have to. It’s a very dramatic color; many artists wear nothing but black. It can denote mystery, something hidden – or maybe an introvert who’s been around crowds too long could use it to “hide” from people. In this sense, it can be a very classy or protecting color.
- Gray is a common color for business suits, and in those instances it can indicate independence, self-control, and self-confidence. But some color specialists think it’s also about ambiguity and indecision; after all, it isn’t black, and it isn’t white, either.
You don’t have to change everything about your appearance. Sometimes an accessory, like a tie or scarf, in a particular color will have the desired effect – without being too noticeable to others. Many of my friends know I enjoy wearing scarf’s and Pashmina and have a vast collection in different designs and colors. I enjoy the feeling of comfort and coziness, as it enhances the look of my wardrobe.
You may also want to make changes to your surroundings. This doesn’t mean, though, that you have to replace all your wardrobe or furniture (unless you want to, of course!). Small changes like fresh flowers, decorations, pillows, or other throws placed on the furniture may just do the trick!
May you spring forward with bright and sunny colors!
To Your Health,
Love and vulnerability affect us all.
This edition is about the month of love, sharing and passion. Whom we love, how we love and how we express our love — to God, family, partner, friends, and our pets. Love is such a beautiful feeling, yet often so hard to express.
The Chinese have a saying that each person chooses who their parents are to be and what life they want to experience long before conception, and it’s all erased from our memories the very moment of conception to allow us to fully experience life.
Are you ready to attract love? Are you loved? Do you feel loved? Do you have someone special to share your life with, or do you feel lost and alone in the abyss of people surrounding you? Are you waiting for the perfect soul mate? Are you looking for the right person to love you and make you feel complete?
You can attract the love you long for. It’s just a matter of knowing what to do and how to do it.
If you really want to attract love, there is one question that you first need to ask. Do you love yourself? Do you really, truly love the person that you are? If you don’t love yourself, then it will be hard for others to love you. Once you love yourself, it will naturally be easier to attract the love you desire.
So how do you learn to love yourself and how do you go about attracting the love of others? You must awaken your love from within. Like a delicate flower waiting to bloom, your love is sealed up tight within a bud. With the right ingredients, that bud will bloom into a beautiful and magnificent creation.
Where do you find the ingredients for love? You cannot find them at the store. The key ingredients for loving yourself and attracting love are within you. That’s where hypnosis comes in. The key is to do this naturally and sincerely! Whether expressing love for family or partner, let your energy flow to touch another’s heart in ways you’ve never imagined.
We are all made from the same divine energy. And we’re all here on the same journey – evolving to our highest potential.
To Your Health,
a beautiful video to lighten your day! http://bit.ly/XgxuXX
Stop making Resolutions – Start creating Intentions!
Resolute = Resolve. When resolutions you wish to come true are daunting because it seems like such hard work (ie: going to the gym 4x week for 90 days). Create action steps to make your intentions a reality, instead of just a resolution list you created for the New Year.
Nevertheless, many still find making resolutions to be a fruitful exercise: It’s a chance to take a high-level look at where your life is, compared to where you’d like it to be. It’s a day to sit down and ask hard questions about whether or not your actual priorities are in line with your current state priorities Even when you fall short of your own goals, you’ll find that coming close to those goals can be rewarding as well.
Here’s a New Year’s resolution anyone can do: Resolve not to make any more New Year’s resolutions.
Now, wasn’t that easy? If you’re trying to pay down your credit cards, quit smoking, get a new job, find a mate, or shed some excess poundage, abandoning New Year’s resolutions won’t get you off the hook.
But by setting more realistic goals for yourself and not limiting yourself to a once-a-year, do-or-die, boot-camp style or all-out assault on those flabby thighs, or the hideous bathroom tiles you keep meaning to replace, you may find that the finish line isn’t so far away after all.
RELAX and guide it to happen!
This will take about 7-10 minutes.
Take this moment and sit back, place your left hand on your chest and your right hand over your stomach. Finding a moment of quietness. This is for you to visualize one (up to three) intentions you wish to bring forth in the next few weeks. Become one with your vision. What do you desire in this life? What do you desire for yourself? Now, give it a color, a feeling or even a sound.
Bring it close to you as if placing it on your body, on your chest and tummy. Breath through it and let it linger upon your chest – having it with you in the comfort of your cradle. let yourself linger and stay with that image. Imagine how it’ll feel being your desired body shape, working where you want to work, feeling healthier, being more in love hand in hand with your mater. By now, you may hear your stomach making sounds of validation. So it is!
You can then stretch and go back to your daily routine! Practice this guided visualization as often as you wish and let the rest come to you!
I look forward to hearing how your intentions are coming along!
To your health,
STOP Smoking Forever with Hypnosis and Heal Within!
Cigarettes don’t kill you – You choose to put cigarettes in your mouth – no one forces you. You do have a choice. Choose Health!
Did you know hookah smoking involves more nicotine than cigarette smoking because of the massive volume of smoke smokers inhale during hookah smoking?
• Most of the people think hookah smoking as a safer alternative to other forms of smoking because the hookah smoke is filtered through water before it is inhaled. But recent studies have found that smoking from a hookah is just as dangerous as smoking a cigarette.
• Lung cancer is currently responsible for 29% of cancer deaths in the United States, responsible for more deaths than breast cancer, colon cancer, and prostate cancer combined. Even though more women are diagnosed with breast cancer, and more men with prostate cancer, lung cancer remains the leading cause of cancer deaths for both men and women.
• Cigarette smoking is the major cause of lung cancer among women. About 90% of all lung cancer deaths among U.S. women smokers are attributable to smoking.
We are open to 4 billion bits of information moment by moment and we can only consciously process 2 thousand. So without our brain’s ability to filter information by deleting, distorting and generalizing, we would be overwhelmed.
At the end we choose what we believe we need and what would be useful for us. Apart from our belief system there are a number of other factors. Without intention to underestimate the others, we’ll focus on our belief system now. It plays the major role in the successful outcome of a hypnotherapy.
The saying: “We move towards our most dominant thought process. What we believe, is how we live.” can be applied to a hypnosis sessions as well.
The power of you being hypnotized lies with you, not the therapist. The therapist’s skills are important, but not as nearly as is your belief system. To be able to implement any change in our lives we need willpower. The conscious mind is where we have our willpower. However, our long established habits are controlled by our unconscious mind. Every habit has been programmed within you and some habits are difficult to consciously change, because it is no longer within the conscious awareness of how and when you do it. It is being done without thinking about it.
What is it that you WANT as an outcome?
A change in your life is only possible if you really want it to happen! The therapist’s role is to support you and assist you in the process of the change. The level of your desire will determine how successful you are going to be. It is that easy and simple!
All you need is to WANT it to happen, observe and acknowledge it to happen and we help make it happen! Be the best you can be today!
There is a stop smoking seminar being offered by HealWithin!
Join our Annual Stop Smoking seminar this November. More details to come.
Quitting can be hard, but does not have to. Remember, you were not born a smoker. We provide resources and support that can increase your chances of STOP smoking successfully. All you need is the desire and making the choice to become healthier.
To Your Health
Labor of Love for Aging parents: 7 warning signs of health problems
Watching an older parent become frail and disintegrate — becoming isolated and depressed — is among the most difficult stresses experienced by adult children today. They don’t have to mind us or even listen – since they have always been the adult.
What prompted this discussion was witnessing many of my friends feeling anxious in dealing with the health of their parent and its effects on them both physically and mentally, plus the emotional factors.
I believe it’s honorable and right for adult children to convince their parents to try options that will make their lives safer, healthier and more pleasant. Nonetheless, no one can force parents to do anything against their will as long as they’re mentally competent.
So what do you do if you have a parent like this? Two simple words: Let go – pray!
In relations to eldercare, there’s only one person you can count on or control: you. Once you’ve done as much as you can to help, you have to stop; there may be some things you can’t change. Below is a list of 7 warning signs for you to become watchful and to prepare yourself.
1. Are your aging parents dressed appropriately?
Pay attention to your parents’ appearance. Are their clothes clean? Do they appear to be taking good care of themselves? Failure to keep up with daily routines — such as bathing, tooth brushing and other basic grooming — could indicate dementia, depression or physical impairments.
Also pay attention to your parents’ home. Are the lights working? Is the heat on? Are the bathrooms clean? Is the yard overgrown? Any big changes in the way your parents do things around the house could provide clues to their health. For example, scorched pots could mean your parents are forgetting about food cooking on the stove. Neglected housework could be a sign of depression, dementia or other concerns.
2. Are your aging parents experiencing memory loss?
Everyone forgets things from time to time. Modest memory problems are a fairly common part of aging, and sometimes medication side effects or underlying conditions contribute to memory loss. There’s a difference, though, between normal changes in memory and the type of memory loss associated with Alzheimer’s disease and other types of dementia. Consider your aging parents. Are memory changes limited to misplaced glasses or an occasionally forgotten appointment? Or are memory changes more concerning, such as forgetting common words when speaking, getting lost in familiar neighborhoods or being unable to follow directions? If you’re concerned about memory loss for either of your aging parents, schedule an evaluation with the doctor.
3. Are your aging parents safe in their home?
Take a look around your parents’ home, keeping an eye out for any red flags. Do your parents have difficulty navigating a narrow stairway? Has either parent fallen recently? Are they able to read directions on medication containers?
4. Are your aging parents safe on the road?
Driving can sometimes be challenging for older adults. If your aging parents become confused while driving or you’re concerned about their ability to drive safely, it might be time to stop driving. To help your aging parents maintain their independence, suggest other transportation options — such as taking the bus, using a van service, hiring a driver or taking advantage of other local transportation options.
5. Have your aging parents lost weight?
Losing weight without trying could be a sign that something’s wrong. For aging parents, weight loss could be related to many factors, including:
- Difficulty cooking. Your parents could be having difficulty finding the energy to cook, grasping the tools necessary to cook, or reading labels or directions on food products.
- Loss of taste or smell. Your parents might not be interested in eating if food doesn’t taste or smell as good as it used to.
- Underlying conditions. Sometimes weight loss indicates a serious underlying condition, such as malnutrition, dementia, depression or cancer.
If you’re concerned about unexplained weight loss for either of your aging parents, schedule an evaluation with the doctor.
6. Are your aging parents in good spirits?
Note your parents’ moods and ask how they’re feeling. Are they sleeping well? A drastically different mood or outlook could be a sign of depression or other health concerns. Also talk to your parents about their activities. Are they connecting with friends? Have they maintained interest in hobbies and other daily activities? Are they involved in organizations or clubs?
If you’re concerned about your parents’ moods, schedule an evaluation. Depression can be treated at any age.
7. Are your aging parents able to get around?
Pay attention to how your parents are walking. Are they reluctant or unable to walk usual distances? Is knee or hip arthritis making it difficult to get around the house? Would either parent benefit from a cane or walker? Issues such as muscle weakness and joint pain can make it difficult to move around as well. If your parents are unsteady on their feet, they might be at risk of falling — a major cause of disability among older adults.
There are many steps you can take to ensure your aging parents’ health and well-being, even if you live far away. Know one thing – Your relationship with your parents is as crucial to your health and wellbeing, as is theirs. For example:
- Share your concerns with your parents. Talk to your parents openly and honestly. Knowing that you’re concerned about their health might give your parents the motivation they need to see a doctor or make other changes. Consider including other people who care about your parents in the conversation, such as other loved ones, close friends or clergy.
- Encourage regular medical checkups. If you’re worried about a parent’s weight loss, depressed mood, or other signs and symptoms, encourage your parent to schedule a doctor’s visit. You might offer to schedule the visit yourself or to accompany your parent to the doctor — or to find someone else to attend the visit. Ask about follow-up visits as well.
- Address safety issues. Point out any potential safety issues to your parents — then make a plan to address the problems. For example, perhaps your parents could use assertive devices to help them reach items on high shelves or to help them stay steady on their feet. A higher toilet seat or handrails in the bathroom might help prevent falls.
- Consider home care services. If your aging parents are having trouble taking care of themselves, perhaps you could hire someone to clean the house and run errands. A home health care aide could help your parents with daily activities such as bathing and dressing. You might also consider Meals on Wheels or other community services. If remaining at home is too challenging, you might suggest moving to an assisted living facility.
- Contact the doctor for guidance. If your parents dismiss your concerns, consider contacting the doctor directly. Your insights can help the doctor understand what to look for during upcoming visits. Keep in mind that the doctor might need to verify that he or she has permission to speak with you about your parents’ care, which might include a signed form or waiver from your parents.
- Seek help from local agencies. Your local agency on aging — which you can find using the Eldercare Locator, a public service of the Administration on Aging — can connect you with services in your parents’ area. For example AARP or the county in which your parents live might have social workers who can evaluate your parents’ needs and put them in touch with pertinent services, such as home care workers and help with meals and transportation. Other help may be the church or organization they have been part of all their life.
Sometimes aging parents won’t admit they need help, and others don’t realize they need help. That’s where you come in. Labor of love is to remind your parents that you care about them and that you want to do what’s best to promote their health and well-being, both today and in the months and years to come.
We at Healwithin are here to help you and your loved ones through these transitions. You may call us at 818 551-1501.
Happiness is a choice. Most folk are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.
– Abraham Lincoln
I was discussing what Happiness is with a friend and I said: Happiness is when one person is doing what they enjoy and is grateful for what they have and who they are. Happiness is perception; it’s subjective and means so many things to different people. When clients hoping to lose weight come to HealWithin, they’ll often claim that they “will be happy if [I] lose 10 lbs”. But loss does not create happiness; it is the gain of something that might help us achieve happiness. The reward, the self-pride that drives us to succeed and transform. Loss is negative – so when seeking loss, we never gain. When defining what will make you happy, focus on what you stand to gain, not what you want to lose.
When we are happy, we are vibrating at a high frequency, energetically speaking, hence the expression “good vibes.” When we are sad our vibration is low. Whatever your experience in any given moment, there are always choices available which lead to an increase in vibration, and therefore happiness.
Happiness is a choice… what have you chosen?
Physically, when we are properly balanced, the heart circulates oxygen rich blood throughout the body, and assures proper assimilation in the beginning stages of digestion in the small intestine. Mental acuity is associated with the heart, therefore, memory, thought processes, emotional well being, and consciousness are also attributed to the heart and feelings.
When the heart is balanced, the mind is calm and you sleep deeply and wake rested. Emotionally, because the heart is connected to your spirit, summer is the best time to heal emotional wounds that you have carried from your past. Hypnotherapy can help you refill love, joy, and happiness and ensure that you not carry your old hurts and patterns with you into the future.
Here are some tips to help you make the most of the summer season:
- Drink plenty of water and other fluids
- Wake up earlier in the morning
- Rest at midday
- Refrain from anger; keep calm and even-tempered (anger causes and exacerbates heat!)
Summer is about abundance and this is definitely the case with foods. Fruits and vegetables abound in summer and we are lucky to have a multitude of choice when it comes to what we eat. It is important to stay cool and hydrated. There are many foods that are beneficial to eat during this season. Here is a list of foods that are beneficial to eat in the summer months:
Live in harmony with nature and one’s environment. With these basic principles of eating with awareness, you can stay healthy, strengthen your body, mind and spirit – and live long, happy, and healthy life.
Defining Health Diseases #1 – the American Syndrome
For a nation of immigrants, the culture of the United States is remarkably uniform in its habits and attitudes. The combination of stress and stagnation, is the result of excess worry, hurry, and too much food, which is now being called the American Syndrome.
All forms of neurosis and neurosis-related disorders, are at high levels and rising in the United States. Chronic fear, worry, anxiety, stress, insecurity, guilt, obsessive thinking, all are optional negative thought patterns – behavioral choices – that create health disease. Even the word stress is a stressor for so many. American culture promotes the desire to control everything, including the uncontrollable, especially the past, the future, and the actions and opinions of other people.
- The use of prescribed anti-depressants in the U.S. is extremely popular and continues to increase. With 5% of the world’s population, Americans consume 65% of all psychotropic drugs.
- The use of illicit drugs and alcohol for the purpose of misery-control continues its upward path, in spite of the U.S. government’s decades-long “War on Drugs” and high number of incarcerated drug offenders.
- The use of food as an emotional sedative, especially among politically and economically disadvantaged groups, is widespread in obesity-plagued America, and still growing.
- The U.S. is always a nation at war – the War on Drugs, the War on Terrorism, the War on Cancer, the War on Iran, Cuba, N. Korea, and so many others.
Fear-generated issues reveal itself physically as a conscious and in most cases unconscious tightening or a constricting of muscles – held tight for long periods of time – as part of a fight or flight response to a perceived emergency. Literally any organ or tissue can become strangled and diseased in this manner. The resulting decrease in circulation in the body/mind impedes and halts the functioning of the cardiac muscle and lungs, allows growths and tumors to form and grow, constrains the uterus and causes all sorts of menstrual and fertility problems, menopausal abnormalities, constricts the reproductive and urinary organs and reduces their function, and tightens the digestive organs leading to a multitude of digestive diseases.
Fear contracts structural muscles, thereby causing mysterious pains, forcing dislocations of bones, and preventing the healing of injuries. All of the foregoing health problems are quite common in most medical clinics.
Psychosomatic illnesses, those that are heavily fear-based and that respond well to faith healing, alternative healing and other placebo treatments, are commonly found in America and are on the increase. Some everyday examples are fibromyalgia, irritable bowel syndrome, digestive ulcers, chronic fatigue syndrome, common hypoglycemia, Crohn’s disease, post-traumatic stress disorder, stress headaches, bronchial asthma, sexual impotence, urinary retention or incontinence, pre-menstrual syndrome, and high blood pressure.
Did you know FEAR means nothing more than False Emotions Appearing Real, yet we seem to live in a world surrounded by and with fear. Fear of being attacked, fear of loss of job, fear of not finding love, fear of disease. Are we becoming a nation of fearfulness?
According to Andrew Weil, the author of many popular books on health, including Healthy Aging, “In recent years, scientists have begun to recognize that misplaced, unnecessary, and prolonged inflammation may be a common root of many chronic, degenerative diseases that until now have appeared to have nothing in common.
To reduce fear and stress effecting health diseases and more on this topic… stay tuned to our next segment and Discover the five essential elements of well-being to become healthier and flourish in your life.
To Your Health,
Planning on getting married? Congratulations! This is one of the most exciting times in a woman’s life. From the moment you say “Yes” you begin creating a string of excitement and energy around yourself and those around you.
Weddings bring with them good stresses and bad stresses. You can be excited to commit yourself to the person you love and be surrounded by your family and friends. But there are other aspects—staying within a budget, cooperating with your partner, deciding on venues and guest lists, trying to keep everyone happy, eating healthy, etc.—that can make brides feel confused, anxious, and depressed.
There may be days where you feel frustrated and are ready to pull your hair and scream, not knowing exactly why – sound familiar?
Did you know that your reality is created by your beliefs?
- The first step is becoming aware of what are your core beliefs about love and marriage.
- The second step is to make a conscious commitment to stay true to your-self, then others.
- The third step is to find a modality that works for you which is loving and safe.
Brides need help with anxiety and controlling tendencies so that they can fully embrace their “Big Day.” You need to know that although your wedding day is a once-in-a-lifetime event, perfection is not key. Mindfulness is. The key to having a great wedding is being fully present to enjoy the day – not being consumed by the little details that most people will overlook.
- Natural weight loss through controlling anxiety and tension, emphasizing a sound diet and exercise.
- Improve communication with their fiancees, family members and vendors during this stressful time
- Improve self-esteem and confidence; reinforce that they are loved and cherished (why else would they be getting married)
- Overcome fears and concerns about their relationship and how it will change upon marriage
Weddings can be stressful, stress leads to fighting, and fighting leads to doubts, fear, and worry. If this describes your relationship, rest assured that you are not alone. There are many couples who worry that fighting means they are not right for each other. Certainly, this is something to consider if the fights are about major issues such as children, religious beliefs, finances, and where to live.
Wedding jitters can easily be wiped away as long as you remember to keep your love and faith close to your heart. One word of advice…make sure the person you are marrying enhances who you are and that through this unity, you enhance each others’ lives.
Here are some tips for surviving your wedding planning:
- Talk with your partner about your doubts and fears. Make sure you iron out all your doubts now instead of waiting until after the marriage, hoping it will work itself out.
- Determine what it is you are really questioning—whether it’s the relationship itself or simply the daunting idea of marriage. If your answer is the latter, know that many couples go through the same fears –after all, you are about to take a huge step in your life.
- Ask yourself some questions about any changes that have taken place or that you have discovered since the engagement. Is your partner exhibiting a different behavior or engaging in activities you disapprove of? These are things that should be addressed before you proceed with the wedding plans.
- Look to or perhaps talk to couples who have survived and celebrated many years of marriage. They can be a good source of support and great role models.
- Set aside some time before the wedding to spend a romantic evening with your partner, away from all the wedding talk and plans.
- Consider going to a couple’s counselor to talk out your doubts. This step doesn’t mean your relationship is falling apart, and for many couples it can reaffirm their commitment to the relationship. You will find you can develop important communication skills that will help you as you begin your married life together. Most congregations or churches offer counseling sessions.
All brides need to appreciate their pre-wedding jitters, often called butterflies or cold feet. Instead of running away from your anxiety, you need to confront it and say what you are feeling out loud. Express it instead of suppressing it.
Finally, you need to surrender your emotions to the special day coming up. Know that things have a way of working themselves out. When things are natural, you will find the reason to smile and really have a good time without being forced. Look for ways to really pamper yourself and make sure that you are radiant on your special day. Put your focus on the love that you have for one another and magic will happen.
This unity is what the both of you gift to one another, lovingly.
208 S. Louise Street
Glendale, CA 91205
Phone: (818) 551-1501