Love. It’s right up there with air, food and water as the most necessary of ingredients for existence. And yet, for many people, it’s the hardest thing to find and perhaps even harder to hold on to. Many of my clients have difficulty expressing love for the fear of getting hurt. The truth is you’re not perfect, and neither is your partner. But you can be perfectly imperfect together.

It is the imperfections that make us into something beautiful and unique. In many ways, relating to someone or something is mostly choice and perception. I say this because it is possible to be “in love” with someone one day, but unable to be in the same room with them the next. Our feelings did not change, but the way in which we perceive them may have.

Start projecting the real You. Your Authentic Self. You will find yourself not only attractive to others, but becoming more attractive within – on the road to a realistic and satisfying relationship.

Enlightenment is said to be the key to everything, and it is the key to Intimacy, because that is the goal of true authenticity.  Our Ego presents itself through behaviors that include aggression, defensiveness, anger, neediness, manipulation, and avoidance.  In working through these issues, trusting ourselves and learning to surrender to the behaviors that form walls around our hearts, we can attain our True Authentic Self.

Love knows how to form itself. God will do his work if we do ours. Our job is to prepare ourselves for love. When we do, love finds us every time.

Spirituality is about the intersection of the human and the divine. So not only is there inner work to be done, there’s also outer work to be done. You might open the door to your own house or apartment and take a brutally honest look: Is this someplace that would feel like home?  How comfortable am I here?  Most importantly, How comfortable am I with myself and my body?

You have to make a space in your heart, in your mind and in your life in order to create authentic human connection and feel Love Within

Love is all around us, all the time. Love is the amniotic fluid of the soul. The issue is when issues of the Ego and our constant emphasis on the realm of the body rather than the realm of love, eclipse the experience of True Love.

Did you know you can “love” someone deeply and yet not “like” them as a person or agree with their actions? Yes – it is very possible. When you understand yourself better and remove negative beliefs and experiences through healing within, you’ll be poised to have greater success in relationships.

The question is: How can you create healthier relationships?

Hypnotherapy can help you transform your pain into acceptance and pleasure, while helping you to create authentic human connections and healthy relationships for life.  These techniques include:

• Improving trust and  communication
• Improving conflict resolution and misunderstanding
• Healing old relationship wounds
• Helping you appreciate and accept yourself for who you are – just as you are!
• ….and more

Healthy eating is not about strict nutrition philosophies, staying unrealistically thin, or depriving yourself of the foods you love. Rather, it’s about feeling great, having more energy, keeping yourself as healthy as possible– and above all, loving your body just as you are– all of which can be achieved.

Conventional nutrition advice says eating fat will make you fat. In order to prevent weight gain and stay healthy, you should eat a low-fat diet. This school of thought is fully embraced by many nutritionists, dietitians, personal trainers, doctors, and even our government agencies. The truth is that there is no evidence that healthy fats are bad for you; as a matter of fact, they are essential for your body functions. Eating foods high in healthy fats doesn’t mean that you will get fat.

There are two types of weight: Physical weight and Emotional weight. We all need to eat to survive. Many eat when hungry; others overeat when stressed, anxious, nervous, happy and etc. You know the term “emotional eating” do you not? Think back and take stock of how many times have you gone on a diet and gained some, if not all the weight back. It wasn’t until the last 30-40 years that Americans have become so fat phobic and eaten so much low-fat and fat-free foods, yet Americans are getting fatter and heavier. Why? What does research say about the mechanism behind weight gain? Eat a variety of foods, exercise, uncover the emotional cravings, and watch the fat burn off your body.

Are you now wondering if this will work for you?  The answer is: Yes – It Can!
Even clients who were referred to us months after their lap band surgery where they gained their weight back found hypnosis to be helpful. Why? Because although they cut and took the physical weight off, their subconscious mind still believed and/or tricked their mind in thinking “I am fat”, or not deserving of the thinner body, and many other emotional reasons unique to each individual.

At HealWithin, we can help boost your self-confidence, understand your past behaviors and patterns and learn how you can now finally let go and shed layers of emotional weight you’ve held on to (either knowingly or unknowingly) through hypnotherapy. For better results, our Certified Dietician, Julie can also assist you with specific foods and nutrients according to your needs. Hypnotherapy helps: Gain better mental focus, emotional strength and healthier habits.  Call us today and find out how we can help you achieve having the body you truly desire and wish for.

You can achieve similar results at home with our Hypnosis CDs for weight loss and exercise.

Staring and straining are the worse things you can do to your eyes.  After a long day at work, your eyes are tired and need to relax and renew to improve vision. The constant strain day in and day out does nothing but damage your eyes.

Here are three exercises designed to reduce eye strain.

The Dot Exercise

Find a period or comma on the page and focus on making it as clear as possible. Stare at the period until it comes into focus. Chances are after a few seconds the period will actually became less clear and blurry. Try relaxing your eyes. Close them for a minute and let them relax. Now look at the period without straining. Don’t stare (instead, let your eyes slowly move around the page, over and around the period). Don’t focus only on the period, the eyes need movement. Make sure to blink a bit. Try closing your eyes and picturing the dot and then look at it again. Once the eyes are relaxed it should be easier to see the period.

The Word Exercise

Find a word on the page that is five or more letters long. Stare at the word so that all the letters are in view, but don’t move your eyes. Focus entirely on the whole word trying to get the best image in your head. Again, staring and concentrating hard is going to cause the word to blur. Now, relax your eyes and allow them to move slowly over, around, and across each letter of the word.  Blink. Allow your eyes to lead you; don’t force them to look at what you want.  The word should be clearer when you look at it again. Let the eyes move around, that is what will help them work best without any strain.

The Double Vision Exercise

This exercise is meant to get your eyes to work together as a team.  Most people use one eye to look at an object, while the other eye does its own thing. Squinting can help bring an object into focus with both eyes, but this can cause unnecessary stress.  The trick is to relax your eyes, focus on the object in a calm way, and allow both of your eyes to focus together.

Learning exercises to relax the eyes is a great way to develop lasting habits and ensure great eyesight for years to come.

As I evolve spiritually I begin to see Christmas through new eyes. It’s been said that we evolve spiritually either through inspiration or desperation. Perhaps now, with the uncertainty in our economy, many are redefining the meaning of Christmas and how it will be honored. So many follow traditions, where others are forced to accept change.  Let us “not forget to remember” the deeper meaning of the season- to inspire and healwithin. What if Christmas means a little more? What if it doesn’t really come in a box or a bag? What IF it comes in a package called “us” – family, friendship, love, service, and above all sharing joy and time?

Holidays are quite nostalgic and special. In fact just the ritual of “tree trimming” takes me back to my childhood years where my grandparents would join my parents and I to help with the trimming. It was customary for my grandmother to pray for health, love and prosperity before the lights were to go on.

Take a moment and think back – do you realize most of your memories are like snap shots of events? We recall our lives in experiences and moments captured and stored in our mind through our senses… times spent with family, sounds of music or laughter, smells of baking cookies or special foods. What if this year, there actually is more than enough of what truly makes Christmas, Christmas is about awareness of Higher Power and the birth of God’s Presence in you and me and every other person. So take this very moment to reconnect with your highest true senses. Memorialize this very moment – be aware of your breath, the sound of your own breath, thoughts and feelings that passed in your mind (good, bad, right, wrong) nothing matters as long as you become aware and present to the experience. Being grateful for who you are, what you have, and what you just felt – Alive and Inspired.  Have a memorable and a safe holiday season.

Stay tuned for more awareness to inspiring and healing in our next segment of Healing Blog!
Until next time,
Trance On to Wellness

Your partner apologizes and says the hurtful behavior won’t happen again — but you know and fear it will. At times you wonder whether you’re imagining or exaggerating the silent treatments, the abusive language the put downs from left field; being blamed for something you had no knowledge of control over, yet the emotional or physical pain you feel is real. If this sounds familiar, you might be experiencing domestic abuse.

Domestic abuse— also called domestic violence, battering or intimate partner violence — occurs between people in an intimate relationship. Domestic abuse can take many forms, including emotional, sexual and physical abuse and threats of abuse. Men are sometimes abused by partners, this type of abuse is most often directed toward women. Domestic abuse can happen in heterosexual or same sex relationships.

It might not be easy to identify domestic abuse at first. While some relationships are clearly abusive from the outset, abuse often starts subtly and gets worse over time. You might be experiencing domestic abuse if you’re in a relationship with someone who:

• Calls you names, insults you or puts you down
• Prevents you from going to work or school
• Stops you from seeing family members or friends
• Tries to control how you spend money, where you go, what medicines you take or what you wear
• Acts jealous or possessive or constantly accuses you of being unfaithful
• Gets angry when drinking alcohol or using drugs
• Threatens you with violence or a weapon
• Hits, kicks, shoves, slaps, chokes or otherwise hurts you, your children or your pets
• Forces you to have sex or engage in sexual acts against your will
• Blames you for his or her violent behavior or tells you that you deserve it
• Portrays the violence as mutual and consensual

If you’re lesbian, bisexual or transgender, you might also be experiencing domestic violence if you’re in a relationship with someone who:

• Threatens to tell friends, family, colleagues or community members your sexual orientation or gender identity
• Tells you that authorities won’t help a lesbian, bisexual or transgender person
• Tells you that leaving the relationship means you’re admitting that lesbian, bisexual or transgender relationships are deviant
• Says women can’t be violent
• Justifies abuse by telling you that you’re not “really” lesbian, bisexual or transgender

In our upcoming workshop on October 19^th “Stop Domestic Violence and Abuse”, we will be discussing: how the cycle begins, what you need to know to break the cycle, how to create a safety plan, how protect yourself and much more.

Please attend our workshop held at HealWithin in the heart of Glendale, CA. Space is limited to 15 people, so please register by calling (818) 551-1501 or by emailing info@healwithin.com. This workshop is FREE to attend; light refreshments will be provided. If you know someone that might be interested in attending, please forward our flyer found here.

Actress Kirsten Dunst has revealed that she used hypnotherapy to help her kick her smoking habit. The 29-year-old Melancholia star said she has successfully undergone hypnosis in the past to conquer her addiction to nicotine.

In an interview with UK Elle magazine, she said: ‘I did it once and it worked. Then I started [smoking] again. So I’ll try to give up again.” She added: “I’ll do it. You know, I’m much stronger than people think.”

Why did Dunst take up smoking again? Maybe it has something to do with the fact that we do not attract that which we want, but that which we are. Our innermost thoughts and desires are fed with our own positive or negative thoughts. We bring forth what we truly desire not by thinking and wishing upon it, but by being in harmony with our actions and our true highest self. We are anxious to improve our circumstances, but struggle to improve ourselves. In order to succeed, we must stop the negative inner dialogue, self-sabotage and self-blame.

As a progressing and evolving human being, you are where you believe yourself to be – moving towards your most dominant thought pattern; and as you learn the spiritual lesson that circumstances contain for you, those circumstances pass away and give way to others.

Hypnotherapy helps you get to the bottom of what is actually causing you to smoke – something you are hanging on to for comfort. Addiction is clever, after all – and it works on a subconscious level, waiting to strike at your “low” point. That’s when you find yourself making up creative reasons for why it is okay to have “just that one.”

Hypnosis uses every single psychological trick that smoking addiction plays on you, and frees you from its grip. It gently moves your mind from its current habitual state to complete freedom from cigarettes.

Just this week, one of my clients and I were discussing “Time Out.” What do the words “time out” remind you of? Parents telling kids to stay put? Punishment?

If “time out” makes you think of something negative, allow me to explain how you can put a positive spin on it. Most women feel overwhelmed with being home makers, cooks, chauffeurs, moms, wives, daughters, caretakers, career women, dog walkers, and who knows what else. And somewhere in the midst of all this, they must make time to get their hair done, shop, exercise to stay fit, and look good for their husband - maybe even keep up with the Joneses.

If women also happen to be stay-at-home moms, they spend all day with children if their husband is off at work, making their life’s focal point the kids, the home, and chores. There arises a need for me- time. But when they finally have a chance to take a few hours to go out and make the most of me-time, a lot of women cannot enjoy themselves because of guilt: guilt for leaving the kids with their parents or a nanny. Many women therefore stop giving themselves Time Out – and what I really mean is Time to Self.

So if you are a mom, why not turn “time outs” (for your kids and for yourself) into something positive? Starting today, begin giving kids Time to Self, so they are free to do as they wish and play. Tell them that they have 30 minutes to themselves and Mommy has the same time to herself. Perhaps you can start with 15 minutes at a time. Either way, start today.

Honor yourself and use your alone time to relax, read a magazine, or take a stroll for no reason. If you teach children that you need time to yourself, they will eventually understand that “time out” is not a negative thing. That in, in fact, can be a good thing for the entire household. It can validate your needs and wants. In the long run, it will make you more patient, more relaxed when your husband gets home, and allow you to let go of the guilt of having free time in the first place.

You can always increase your “time to self” upon establishing a loving and positive scenario. A win-win!

Upon reading about Amy Winehouse, Olympic Medalist Skier Jeret “Speedy” Peterson and, lastly, a friend of our family who shot and killed himself at age 42, I am baffled to say the least.

How is it possible that life can be so dark, depressing and hopeless for so many of the younger generation?  Why do they feel they have no way out?  Not having someone to believe in them – or someone to confide in?  Do they feel too much is riding on their success and do not feel they are able to rise to it?  Were is their Hope?

Here is a list of the leading causes of death in the United States for young adults:

• Unintentional injury (accidents)
• Assault (homicide)
• Self inflicted injury (suicide)

So what are the elements that bring such successful, wealthy and famous youth, even adults to this point of no return? What contributs to their loneliness?  Is it too much money, too much attention, too many expectations to succeed, feelings of not good enough? too many fake people around… perhaps not knowing who to trust? Peterson met a similar fate but came from an abusive background, poor family and achieved what many only dream of.   

There are many factors in life that bring us to such a moment – the moment of truth – reality – the present. Who am I? What have I done with my life, and is living worth it for me? I believe many have pondered these questions. However, not everyone has a mentor, a confidant, a cheerleader, or a true friend in life.

A client of mine who had nearly attempted suicide in her adult years wanted to try hypnotherapy.  Throughout our sessions, I learned what pushed her button enough to attempt suicide, despite now being happy to be with us to tell her story. There was one word to describe her feelings: “alone”. She said she felt alone and hopeless. 

She came from an well to do family and grew up to be a leader amongst her peers, securing a nice income and traveling all over Europe. She recalls a day sitting on her kitchen floor with a knife in her hand and tears rolling down her face, clouding her thoughts. Then and there, she heard birds chirp outside and in that one instance thought: “it’s as if they are singing for me and to me.”

She shared with me how her body moved slowly as she pulled herself up, went to the window and started whistling back. In that moment, she felt a turning point.  She was transferred to another time and place when she was young and would sing along with the birds outside her bedroom window.  Good times…Loving times.  She felt the joy of being alive and knowing that somehow she was not alone. As a matter of fact, she realized all this time she was surrounded with friends and family who loved and adored her – but could not reach her.  The birds happened to reach her!

She ultimately found her way to HealWithin.   On the last day of her sessions, she said:  “I now feel so hopeful – I know life may not be easy, but it sure is worth living and feeling.”

“Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect.
It means that you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.”

Children are greatly affected by domestic violence. Children are the silent victims. In fact, domestic violence and child abuse are related.

Did you know…
• “Up to 10 million children witness some form of domestic violence annually.”
• “80% to 90% of children living in homes where there is domestic violence are aware of the violence.”
• “Older children are frequently assaulted when they intervene to defend or protect their mothers.”
• “Up to 60% of the men who frequently assaulted their wives also frequently abused their children.”
• “The more severe the abuse of the mother, the worse the child abuse.”
• “Boys who witness domestic violence are twice as likely to abuse their own partners and children when they become adults.”

There are even more unimaginable facts and figures from the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.

Children in violent homes are in serious emotional and physical harm. Even if they haven’t seen the violence first-hand, they can “feel” what is going on. Children from violent homes are more vulnerable to being abused themselves. A child’s exposure to domestic violence is the strongest risk factor of transmitting violent behavior from one generation to the next. They often become perpetrators of violence or victims as adults. It’s understandable that children think that violence is “normal” because they grew up with it.

Children are a product of their own environment. Therefore the cycle of abuse continues. Children from violent homes are affected in all areas of their lives. They can have emotional, behavioral, and health problems. They can experience withdrawal, low self-esteem, nightmares, self-blame and aggression against others and property. They have difficulties in school, like lack of concentration, excessive absences, and poor performance. Plus, their home environment isn’t conducive to studying. And they have difficulties in relationships. It’s hard for them to trust others. They display overly aggressive or passive behavior. They have difficulty problem solving. They have poor anger management skills. These are just some examples that only touch the surface.

It’s simple and plain to see. If the cycle of abuse isn’t stopped, it’s passed down to the children and the abuse carries on and on. Children are being hurt by the millions! The cycle of abuse must be broken. The time is now.

Continue reading on Examiner.com: The cycle of abuse – Indianapolis Domestic Violence & Abuse

Most women who live with an abusive partner find it hard to see any pattern to the abuse. Their mate’s behavior seems bizarre and unpredictable. It seems unbelievable that the same person, who is kind and affectionate one day, could be cruel and malicious the next day. His hurtful behavior seems to come as isolated events. They may think of him as a generally “good guy” who does some really awful things once in a while.

The Three Phases: Honeymoon, Tension-building and Explosion.

The Cycle begins with the honeymoon, which women often describe as an intense period of courtship. During this time, the relationship first gets established. Your partner’s behavior during the honeymoon period seems positive. He is attentive and considerate. He may give you gifts or make promises, or he may simply behave in a way that seems acceptable or “normal.” The two of you begin to establish a relationship together.

Then comes a period of tension building. This phase of the Cycle will vary in length. Some abusive men may be sullen, silent, unpredictable or moody for a period of minutes, hours, weeks or months, creating unbearable tension in the relationship. The man’s behavior during this time may be angry or hostile. Women often describe their partners as being very critical of them. Some men withdraw from the relationship and appear disinterested and distant. They may justify this behavior with excuses such as stress from work or financial concerns. They may also explain their behavior by blaming their partners or children for creating the problems. Men will often deny that there is a problem, insisting that there is nothing wrong with their behavior. Please note that most women, being the nurturers that they are, will try very hard to please their partner, then feel it’s not good enough, and try harder until they feel that they are walking on eggshells, living in fear and trying to avoid the next explosion.

The final phase of the Cycle is the explosion. The first time you experienced an explosion, it may not have seemed that significant, but it probably distressed you. Perhaps your partner raised his voice at you or swore at you. Perhaps he slammed a door or banged down a pot. Perhaps he walked away and gave you the “silent treatment.” If the Cycle has continued for months or years, the explosion phase becomes marked by increasingly brutal attacks, whether they are physical, verbal, psychological or sexual. The attacks also occur more frequently than at the beginning of the relationship.

After the explosion, your partner probably returns to the honeymoon phase. He stops the negative behavior he demonstrated during the tension-building and explosion phases and behaves again in a seemingly positive way. Your partner may apologize and promise not to act in such a manner again or he may simply resume behaving in a way that is acceptable to you. There are many tactics that he may use to convince you to stay with him. Now, please note why this may happen….he does not want to lose the person he loves and abuses. Being a caring, forgiving person, you accept his apology or reformed behavior, and your relationship, and the Cycle, continues.

We have realized that the abuser needs the victim as much as a bully needs a victim. Same scenario – different context. You may notice over time that your partner’s behavior during the tension-building and explosion phases becomes more extreme and closer to one another. His behavior during the honeymoon phase may also change; he may give more gifts and make more promises in order to “win you back.” Alternatively, some women find that the honeymoon period virtually disappears, and the relationship becomes characterized by the tension-building and explosion phases. Each time you take a spin on the Cycle of Abuse you lose a little piece of yourself. You never quite make it back up to your top again. Oh I know, you may think and believe you have… but you haven’t. Every cycle of abuse takes you lower and lower and lower until one day, there is nothing left of you. You just don’t recover. Look closely at yourself and your life… feel your feelings. 

Through hypnotherapy we help you listen to your own heart… reach into your true highest self and begin to heal all the labeling and emotional hurts you held on to.  You can conquer the cycle and be a victor!

Our next blog will be about children in an abusive cycle.