Abuse has many facets
Domestic violence, also known as DV, domestic abuse, spousal abuse or intimate partner violence (IPV), can be broadly defined as a pattern of abusive behaviors by one or both partners in an intimate relationship such as marriage, dating, family, friends or cohabitation.
Domestic violence has many forms including physical aggression (hitting, kicking, biting, shoving, restraining, slapping, throwing objects), or threats thereof; sexual abuse; emotional abuse; controlling or domineering; intimidation; stalking; passive/covert abuse (e.g., neglect); and economic deprivation.
Alcohol consumption and mental illness can be co-morbid with abuse, and present additional challenges when present alongside patterns of abuse.
What is Battering?
Battering is the use of physical, verbal, psychological, and/or sexual force to control and maintain power over another person. It may range from verbal abuse to physical acts such as slapping, kicking, punching, throwing around, knifing or killing.
Battering is not always physically violent, but it is always psychologically abusive. It almost always becomes more severe, frequent and dangerous unless some kind of intervention takes place.
Battering occurs among all racial, ethnic and socioeconomic groups.
What is Abuse?
“Abuse” will be used in this definition to indicate violence inflicted upon a woman by a man with whom she is married or cohabiting. Abuse can be found among married and unmarried heterosexuals, lesbians and gays. It cuts across geographic, religious, economic, and racial barriers. Abuse is a pattern of control issue.
Physical abuse is: A) pushing, scratching, slapping, hitting, punching, choking, kicking, holding, biting, or throwing objects at her; B) locking her out of the house, driving recklessly when she is in the car, threatening to hurt her with a weapon, abandoning her in dangerous places, refusing to help when she is pregnant, injured or sick.
Emotional abuse is : ignoring her feelings, ridiculing her beliefs, calling names: (fat, ugly, slut, stupid, etc), withholding approval, threatening to take children away, telling her about his affairs, manipulating her with lies, threatening to leave, taking car keys or money away, saying no one else will want her if she leaves, keeping her from working or going to school, humiliating her in public or private, abusing her pets or children, driving her family or friends away, threatens to harm her if she left, and threatens that he will commit suicide if she left.
Sexual abuse is: insisting that she dress in uncomfortable sexual way, calling her sexual derogatory names, making jokes about her body, holding her down and forcing sex on her, torturing her in connection with sex, criticizing her love making, forcing her to strip, forcing unwanted sex acts, withholding sex, insisting on unwanted touching.
Sometimes we see these signs in our friends, family members, co-workers, our children and their friends. Please be aware of date violence and rape. Abuse may occur as early as junior high school and high school. Be aware of physical bruises or other signs of injury other than the norm, even truancy or missed classes and missed days from work. Sudden changes in isolation or in excessive use of alcohol or drugs may also be signs that could easily be missed.
Why Women Stay –
- Economic dependence
- Fear of greater physical danger to themselves and their children if they attempt to leave
- Fear of emotional damage to children
- Fear of losing custody of children
- Lack of alternative help and housing
- Lack of job skills
- Social isolation resulting in lack of support from family and friends and lack of information
- Fear of involvement in court processes
- Cultural and religious constraints
- Fear of retaliation
- Fear of loneliness
- Insecurity over potential independence and lack of emotional support
- Guilt about failure of marriage
- Fear that husband (partner) is not able to survive alone.
- Belief that husband (partner) will change.
- Ambivalence and fear over making formidable life changes.
We at HealWithin are specialized to hold your space sacred and safe. We are trained to help you through these phases or get you the immediate help you may need.
Contact us if you or any of your loved ones demonstrate or show any signs of abuse. It does not have to continue – nor should you take it.
The next time you feel the need to defend your decisions – check your hands.
Are they clenched? Open them. Notice how YOU feel.
YOU DO have a CHOICE. Make the right one.
With the gift of listening comes – the gift of healing.
Being here means You Can change!
Contact us at: (818) 551-1501 to help you feel better!
208 S. Louise Street
Glendale, CA 91205
Phone: (818) 551-1501