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Where Were You When It Happened?
When a moment becomes more than a memory.
Where were you on September 11, 2001?
For many of us, the answer comes almost instantly.
We remember where we were. Who we were with. The television. The phone call. The disbelief. The fear. Maybe even the sounds, the room, or exactly what we were doing when we realized something terrible was happening.
Twenty-five years later, yet that moment can still feel so close. Because sometimes we don’t simply remember what happened. We remember how it felt.
September 11 was an extraordinary collective traumatic experience. Just as I can still remember sitting with my family watching television when we heard that President Kennedy had been shot—and hearing my mother scream—there are moments that seem to become etched into our memory. We remember where we were, who was there, what we heard, and especially how we felt.
These moments remind us of something that happens on a very personal level, too. Certain experiences become deeply associated with emotion. A loss. An accident. A betrayal. A frightening diagnosis. A divorce. Being bullied. Something that happened when you were six years old—or something someone said that you thought you had forgotten. The event may be over. The feeling may linger.
Years later, a sound, a smell, a place, a facial expression or even a tone of voice can bring back a feeling before you consciously understand where it came from.
It’s one reason the title of Bessel van der Kolk’s book, The Body Keeps the Score, resonates with so many people. Louise Hay approached mind-body awareness from another perspective, encouraging people to listen to the body and become curious about what it may be communicating.
And it brings me back to something I have said for years: “It’s not what you eat—or gorge on. It’s what’s been eating at you.”
Because sometimes we focus entirely on the behavior in front of us—the overeating, anxiety, sleeplessness, fear, people-pleasing, shutting down or overreacting—without becoming curious about the feeling underneath it.
What if instead of only asking, “Why am I doing this?” we asked: “When have I felt this before?”
That question can take us somewhere very different.
Sometimes the connection is obvious. Other times, we have no idea why a particular situation affects us so strongly. This is one of the reasons I use hypnotherapy. By quieting some of the conscious chatter, we can explore memories, emotions, beliefs and associations that may be connected to the patterns showing up in our lives today.
Not to live in the past but to understand what the past may still be influencing you today.
That is also the heart of The 3E Method™: Evoke what was. Embrace what is. Evolve to what will be.
So tomorrow, as we remember September 11 and honor those whose lives were lost and forever changed, take a moment to become aware of what you remember.
Not only: Where were you?
But perhaps more importantly: How did you feel?
And then become curious about your own life. The impact of what other feelings have remained with you? What experiences may still echo in the way you respond, protect yourself, eat, worry, love, work, and live today?
The past can help us understand the pattern. It doesn’t have to write the next chapter.
Healing begins the moment you choose to become more curious than critical.